after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
