we're making bets on your personal life
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
