haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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