if you like me you must not know who I am
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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