Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
