Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Randomize
