4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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