"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
