we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
