Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
