My first STD was from a foam party
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
nutella sex= disaster
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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