the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
