i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Alive.
So much puke
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
