cat food counts as protein by the way
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
