CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
