Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
