my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
