i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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