I feel like I'm in dance class right now
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
