it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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