He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I'm always down for nudity.
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