Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
