Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
