brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize