They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
