I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
