I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
