your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize