Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
