ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
