So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
