dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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