I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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