Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
