but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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