Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Me too!
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
