Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
two words: eviction party
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
