p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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