We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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