People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize