wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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