Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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