Already got asked if we're dating
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
