Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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