"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
