I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize