and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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