Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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