y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Dignity is for republicans.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
