i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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