Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
