Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
