Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
