i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
