This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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