why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
