Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
