There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I am in a vortex of obligation.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize