On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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